Why Not Me? Sneak Peek.

~Allie~

Circling my hips, I spin in a circle as Dawn and I dance together. We’re out celebrating Dawn’s new job and the fact I aced my marketing exam. Lifting my arms above my head, I give a little shimmy, jumping when I feel my phone vibrate in the back pocket of my jeans.

Without missing a beat, I pull it out and smile when I see the name on the screen of my cell, I swipe my finger with an eagerness that hasn’t dissipated in the nine months we’ve been seeing each other. We fell hard and we fell fast, but I’ve never felt so connected with someone.

“Hey, babe, one sec,” I yell over the pounding dance music. It’s so loud, I don’t know if he can hear me, my words probably faint under the vibrating bass. Dawn smiles as I turn, waving at Blake when she glances at me, I hold my phone up and point to the patio. She grins with a wink and goes back to dancing with a giant of a man.

The patio is lit with twinkle lights, random heaters sit next to the picnic tables filling the space providing ambient heat for the rare person brave enough to face the bitter cold. The music sounds through a few speakers along the wall, but it’s turned down to be background noise. Tucking my free hand under my arm, I stand under the heater next to the door.

“Sorry about that. Is everything okay?” It’s unusual for Landon to call when he knows I’m out with my girlfriends. That must mean things didn’t go well with Melissa. “Do you need me to come over, we can cuddle on the couch. I know tonight wasn’t easy for you.”

Snowflakes start to fall around me, the first snow of the year making today one of my favorite days. I love the snow. There’s something enchanting about the first snow. It blankets everything to create a crisp, clean canvas. The air is fresher, and it’s the sign that mother nature is preparing for new growth. I think the only season I love more than winter is summer, when everything is in full bloom. The reward for the months we’ve endured the cold.

The music shifts to something slow. It’s quieter outside, the soft melody over the speaker adding to the magic of the night. I feel free of more than just another exam under my belt. Knowing that we can finally move forward, it makes me tilt my face up into the crisp flakes and smile. Tonight, everything is perfect.

When nothing but silence comes from the other end of the line, I can barely hear his breathing, I check my phone to make sure we didn’t disconnect. “Landon? What’s going on? You’re worrying me.”

“I can’t see you anymore, Allie.” His words are cold and detached, almost as though he’s talking to a stranger, so different from this morning.

I can’t stop the sharp inhalation at his words, the frigid air burning my lungs as I stumble to the nearest picnic table. No one is outside, the cold October night making everyone shy away from spending too much time outdoors—something I’m grateful for as my eyes fill with tears.

“What are you talking about? This morning everything was fine. What about everything you’ve told me, said to me?” My voice cracks as I try to make sense of what’s going on. Why is his tone so disconnected? My voice lowers, filled with such confusion and pain that I can’t recognize it. “I’m so confused.”

“There’s nothing to understand. I’m sorry I let this go on as long as I did, it was a mistake. I guess hindsight is twenty-twenty.” A whooshing in my ears blocks out his voice, the tears I’ve been holding at bay begin to fall as I realize this isn’t some weird, cruel joke. It’s real.

“I see. I guess there’s nothing to say then.” My voice is faint, barely a whisper, my head already filling in the blanks. I knew this was a risk, I was stupid enough to think our connection was strong enough to withstand her. So much so, that I did something I never thought I would do. Ever.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I bite back tears of despair. This is what I get for pushing aside my initial reservations and falling for his pretty words.

“Goodbye, Allie—I’m sorry.” The last words are whispered, a slight crack in the cold façade, but the phone clicks silent and that slight crack means nothing as I’m left sitting on the cold wooden bench in shock.

I slump against the rough edge of the tabletop, it’s sharp corner digging into my spine as I stare mindlessly as the snow slowly builds up on the ground, its beauty now tainted with the quiet breaking of my heart.

Copyright © 2018 by Ashley Erin

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